I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
