Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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