She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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