Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you never un-have a 4some
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we're so committed to being not committed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
