you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
