I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
