just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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