Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
