Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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