Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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