Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
