What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
