I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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