I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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