One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
