I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the liver wants what the liver wants
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
