wat bout pragnant strippers??
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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