I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
