Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
