the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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