addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
