I look better un-naked...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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