When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
