Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize