I'm really into asian looking animals
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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