would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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