i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
