There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
how drunk are you?
Several
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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