dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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