watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
