i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
