Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
