He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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