Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
