fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
