he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
