weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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