theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
