lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
