He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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