College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
