ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I still have a little drunk in my system
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
