Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
