too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
