It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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