I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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