I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
