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• (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today

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• (561): View more from Florida

  There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy

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