it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
