so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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