I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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