The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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