Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I need a beard to bite.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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