I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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