is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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