ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
