rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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