I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
