I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
