Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
