she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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