never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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